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Is God the Ultimate Coder?

By :Caitlin Stivaletta 0 comments
Is God the Ultimate Coder?

I know you might find this hard to believe, but intuitive people are a lot like google.


The whole purpose of technology is for it to intuitively know what information you need from it. But, have you ever wondered what makes them this way?




If you knew I was going to say that, you just got your own personal google on! Or you had a pretty good guess, because it was obvious.


Good guessing is actually one of the qualities of being intuitive, which is why search engines, like Google operate a lot like your intuition.

Your intuition uses algorithms that your brain makes up all by itself, but Google uses algorithms somebody else's brain made up to predict how relevant a certain website will be to you based on your search terms.


This is all thanks to coders.


Coders are like the creators of the internet world, who build these websites and then program them so that they will appear highly relevant to search engines based on certain keywords, which is why I think that God runs the internet and is therefore, the ultimate coder.


The way I see it, when you google something, you are basically picking God's brain.


The Bible's a code and God did that.


Why wouldn't he be running the show up there inside the internet, too?

He created the world and then he created us and then he gave us an instruction manual about how to live, understand, communicate with and follow the commandments of his God Code.


As far as I can tell, it would appear that this book has done a relatively good job of getting us to the place in the story we are at right now.


Are we at the brink of an epic global crisis? Hell yeah we are, it's called a climax.


Haven't you ever watched a really good movie or read a really good book? Things tend to get a little intense if the story has a decent plot, particularly one that includes Armageddon.


You're supposed to be on the edge of your seat right now wondering if demonic leaders on the earth are waging war with the forces of God in such a way that could end history.


Otherwise, what a crap ass story that Bible would be.

But, if I were God and had written the most epic living story of all time (with the help of my brilliant muse, Wisdom) and I also thought like a coder, I would be pretty excited about this plan I made that was about to go down.


I mean, if God loves all of his children and he wants them to be as close to him as possible and get to heaven, the BEST way to get this job done is to watch them fumble their way through time as they evolve, advance, learn and then voila!


They finally arrive at the moment he planned for.




This is when the story really starts to get good.


Can you think of a better set up for a second coming of Christ to follow through with his promise that he would come back and save the world?

We've got Social Unrest, Political Divides, Cyber Wars, Viruses, UFOs, Communists, Satanists, Alien Humanoids, Zombies, Galactic Federations, Grand Conjunctions, Economic Collapse..all we need now are a couple of Natural Disasters and we're all going to be screaming,




So, being God, I'd be well prepared for this moment and have already leveled up my network marketing strategy by sending my son back down to earth to once again, rep the brand.


At first, his job would be to demonstrate how the product works and then he would choose a couple of good people that he could trust and then train them on how to start getting leads and closing sales.

Then, these 21st century disciples would do most of the leg work so that God and Jesus can be free to watch the shitshow from their office upstairs while they handle all the backend administrative stuff.


You know, take calls, answer prayers, discipline sinners, heal people, make some appearances, produce miracles...that sort of thing.


Now, all this time the competition, Satan, is pissed that God runs the internet, so he's roaming around trying to steal all of the leads and getting kind of stressed out.


He thought technology was HIS idea. He was trying to create this epic One World Order and then God comes along with this brilliant plan to scale his business exponentially by capitalizing on technology to expand his network globally.

So, Satan's freaking out because he wasn't prepared for this, so he gets this idea to distract people from the real Jesus and gets a bunch of spiritualists to start calling themselves "Christ Conscious", accidentally satisfying the scripture's description of the anti-christ since technically all of them are claiming to be the second coming, collectively.


Think about it.

If scripture has to be fulfilled, the perfect time for Jesus Christ to make a world saving entrance would be right now, would it not?


What if I told you that the Plandemic Conspiracy wasn't set up in a sinister fashion and it was actually in the plan created by God, from the beginning.

How about that for a total plot twist?


It's almost like this whole event was set up specifically to give Christ the perfect opportunity to save us. For 2000 years the bible has said that he would return through the clouds...


...I bet you never considered it would be the INTERNET clouds...


...but I did!

This is how I picture the Christ comeback.


He'd be undercover at first.


Nobody would know.


He would be the King of the Internet and he'd be working under God, who is both the entire internet AND the ultimate Coder.


Jesus would disguise himself at first as a social media influencer where he'd make his life look like Heaven on earth to attract the attention of sinners who crave luxury, power, wealth, fame, beauty and sex.


Then, he would monitor these sinners and send the leads to his special agent disciples who would finish casting out their demons and then complete their conversion.

What's even better is that Mary Magdalene would get to make a less expected, but equally brilliant cameo as well.


She'd resume her role as the repentant sinner, completely devoted to her loving Savior, this time working to build the body of Christ not as the church, but as Heaven on earth.


It would be organized through a network of secret agents disguised as a social media community called Felicity's Bliss and where they reveal the truth about God's plan, disguised as fictional stories.  It would be accessible to anyone yet very exclusive because only the most advanced truth seekers will be eligible to begin the initation process by solving a series of mysteries that surround Felicity's Bliss.  Upon completion of these tasks, iniates will gain access to the society or depending on their level of skill, they may be eligible to join the small group of elite by continuing their spiritual advancement to earn a higher status within the spiritual heirarchy. 

(Unless you're reading this article, you don't have to do anything because you've been blessed and highly favored as a founding member of the community.  I told you everything so don't say a word and just get in here and pretend like you know what's going on.  If anybody asks, just say Amen let you in.)


The integrity of the group is maintained by a certain degree of diligence that is necessary to satisfy the pre-requisites prior to entrance.... it's Heaven on Earth.  

Don't question if it's worth it.  Just do the work.

Felicity's Bliss would be run by a small group of people, like the illuminati, but in a good way.


They'd be the Notilluminati, I suppose you could say.


And the whole world would be whispering in tongues about this difficult to pronounce elite group of do-gooders who control everything and make the whole world so perfect and good!


How do you think this small group of elite do-gooders were able to save the world?  Because they all worked under-cover for God and it was part of the plan.

But what is so good and perfect about the world all the sudden you ask?  Well, because it's Heaven on Earth.

Because of the plan!



Tags :
categories : Existential Musings

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